


The Body

by rattydad



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Coming of Age, aaron and emily are siblings, just four besties looking for a body, matt and reid are siblings, spencer is dumb as a rock lovable but dumb as a shit, they are actually children, this takes place in 1959, tw: mentions of rape, watch the movie if you haven’t
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-23
Updated: 2021-03-23
Packaged: 2021-03-24 20:22:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30077826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rattydad/pseuds/rattydad
Summary: I was twelve, going on thirteen, the first time I saw a dead human being. It happened in the summer of 1959. A long time ago, but only if you measure in terms of years. I was living in a small town in Virginia called Quantico. There were only 1142 people, but to me it was the whole world.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 3





	The Body

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic. I don’t own any of the characters in this story. All rights go to CBS and Stephen King respectively. This is a conversion fic based on the book 'The Body' and the movie 'Stand By Me'.

_ The date is August 24th, 1985. We see a blonde woman in a Beige coloured Jeep parked on the side of the road. We see fields that lead into a forest. She is reading a week old newspaper that reads  _ **_“ATTORNEY EMILY PRENTISS FATALLY STABBED IN RESTAURANT”_ ** _. She looks at it solemnly. Two boys on their bikes ride past her. She watches as they go down the road and remembers a time where she was once those boys.  _

_ Flashback 1959 _

**I was twelve, going on thirteen, the first time I saw a dead human being. It happened in the summer of 1959. A long time ago, but only if you measure in terms of years. I was living in a small town in Virginia called Quantico. There were only 1142 people, but to me it was the whole world.**

_ She was in a shop called Martin’s. She reaches for the latest edition of True Police Reports Magazine. She pays 15 cents for the magazine. As she leaves the store, the sounds of a car radio can be heard.  _

_ “Hey it's the bossman Bob Cormier here. It's a beautiful Friday morning in Virginia! It's 95 K.L.A.M degrees and getting hotter! Up the ladder with another platter! It's Bobby Day with 'Rocking Robin'! It's boss!” _

_ We see her walking towards the large oak tree that was towards the town limits. She wore a red shirt that had thin blue stripes going across tucked into a pair of cuffed light-wash jeans. The dirty white converse that she was wearing had walked more miles than years she’s been alive.  _

  
  


**We had a treehouse in a big oak which overhung a vacant lot in Quantico. There's a moving company on that lot today, and the oak is gone. Progress. It was a sort of social club, although it had no name. There were five, maybe six steady guys and some other wet ends who just hung around. We'd let them come up when there was a card game and we needed some fresh blood. The game was usually blackjack and we played for pennies, nickel limit; but you got double money on blackjack and five-card-under...triple money on six-card-under, although Derek was the only guy crazy enough to go for that.**

**The sides of the treehouse were planks scavenged from the shitpile behind Billy’s Lumber & Building Supply on Carbine Road - they were splintery and full of knotholes we plugged with either toilet paper or paper towels. The roof was a corrugated tin sheet we hawked from the dump, looking over our shoulders all the time we were hustling it out of there, because the dump custodian's dog was supposed to be a real kid-eating monster. We found a screen door out there on the same day. It was fly-proof but really rusty I mean, that rust was extreme. No matter what time of day you looked out that screen door, it looked like sunset. Besides playing cards, the club was a good place to go and smoke cigarettes and look at dirty books. There were half a dozen battered tin ashtrays that said CAMELS on the bottom, a lot of centrefolds tacked to the splintery walls, twenty or thirty dog-eared packs of Bike cards (Derek got them from his uncle, who ran the Quantico Stationery Shoppe - when Derek's uncle asked him one day what kind of cards we played, Derek said we had cribbage tournaments and Derek's uncle thought that was just fine), a set of plastic poker chips, and a pile of ancient Master Detective murder magazines to leaf through if there was nothing else shaking. We also built a 12" x 10" secret compartment under the floor to hide most of this stuff in on the rare occasions when some kid's father decided it was time to do the ‘We're Really Good Pals routine.’ When it rained, being in the club was like being inside a Jamaican steel drum...but that summer there hadn’t been any rain.**

**It had been the driest and hottest since 1907 - or so the newspapers said- and on that Friday preceding the Labour Day weekend and the start of another school year, even the** **goldenrod in the fields and the ditches beside the backroads looked parched and poorly.**

**Nobody's garden had done doodly-squat that year, and the big displays of canning stuff in the Quantico Red & White were still there, gathering dust. No one had anything to put ** **up that summer, except maybe dandelion wine. Derek, Emily, and I were up in the club on that Friday morning, glooming to each other about school being so near and playing cards and swapping the same old Frenchman jokes.**

“Hey Em. Deal me in.” I say as I sit down on one of the many wooden boxes we have around. She deals me in, hoping I win the first round I join. 

“Hey, how do you know a Frenchman's been in your backyard?” Emily asks with a cigarette between her lips. 

She wore a plain white t-shirt with one of the sleeves rolled up. It was tucked into an old pair of worn Levi’s. In the rolled up sleeve was a pack of Camel cigarettes. 

“Hey, I'm French, okay.” Derek says while messing with his own cigarette. He wore the same thing Emily did except he had a hawaiian shirt over it. He also wore black thick rimmed glasses. 

“Your garbage cans are empty and your dog's pregnant.” She looks at me and we laugh about it. 

“Didn't I just say I was French?”

“I knock.” Emily says as she lightly taps the makeshift table.

“Shit.” Derek says.

“Twenty-nine.” Emily says with a smirk.

‘Twenty-two.” Derek says putting his cards down.

‘Piss up a rope!” I say as I throw my cards down. Instead of joining back in, I pick up my magazine and start reading it. I had always been bad at gin rummy. Whenever I played I usually got the shit end of the stick.

“Ha Ha! JJ's out. Oh, Jenny just bit the bag and stepped out the door!” Derek laughs out. 

“Come on, man, deal.” Emily says while also laughing. 

**Derek bugled, and then gave out with his patented Derek Morgan laugh, ‘Eeee-eee-eee’, like a rusty nail being slowly hauled out of a rotten board. Well, he was weird; we all knew it. Close to being thirteen, like the rest of us, the thick glasses and the hearing aid he wore sometimes made him look like an old man. Kids were always trying to cadge smokes off him on the street, but the bulge in his shirt was just his hearing aid battery.**

**In spite of the glasses and the flesh-coloured button always screwed into his ear, Derek couldn't see very well and often misunderstood the things people said to him. In baseball** **you had to have him play the fences, way beyond Emily in left field and Tara Lewis in right. You just hoped no one would hit one that far because Derek would go grimly after it, see it or not. Every now and then, he got bonked a good one, and once he went out cold after running full tilt boogie into the fence by the treehouse. He’d lay there on his back with his eyes showing whites for almost five minutes, and I would get scared. Then he would wake up and walk around with a bloody nose sporting a huge purple lump rising on his forehead, trying to claim that the ball was foul.**

**His eyesight was just naturally bad, but there was nothing natural about what had happened to his ears. He kept his ears covered because they looked like two lumps of warm wax. One day when he was eight, Derek's father got pissed at him for breaking a plate. His mother was working at the shoe factory in South Paris when it happened and by the time she found out about it, everything had happened. Derek's dad took Derek over to the big wood stove at the back of the kitchen and shoved the side of Derek's head down against one of the cast-iron burner plates. He held it down there for about ten seconds. Then he yanked Derek up by the hair and did the other side. Then he called the Central Virginia General Emergency Unit and told them to come get his boy. Then he hung up the phone, went into the closet, got his four-ten, and sat down to watch the daytime stories on TV with the shotgun laid across his knees. When Mrs. Monte from next door came over to ask if Derek was all right - she'd heard the screaming - Derek's dad pointed the shotgun at her. Mrs. Monte went out of the Morgan house at roughly the speed of light, locked herself into her own house, and called the police. When the ambulance came, Mr. Morgan let the orderlies in and then went out on the back porch to stand guard while they wheeled Derek to the old portholed Buick ambulance on a stretcher.**

**Derek's dad explained to the orderlies that while the fucking brass hats said the area was clear, there were still Kraut snipers everywhere. One of the orderlies asked Derek's Dad if he thought he could hold on. Derek's dad smiled. The orderly saluted, and Derek's dad snapped it right back at him. A few minutes after the ambulance left, the state police arrived and relieved Hank Morgan of duty.**

**He'd been doing odd things like shooting cats and lighting fires in mailboxes for over a year, and after the atrocity he had visited upon his son, they had a quick hearing and sent him to Snowden, which is a special sort of V.A. hospital. Snowden is where you have to go if you're a section eight. Derek's dad had stormed the beach at Normandy, and that's just the way Derek always put it. Derek was proud of his old man, in spite of what his old man had done to him, and went with his mom to visit him every week.**

**He was the dumbest guy we hung around with, I guess, and he was crazy. He'd take the craziest chances you can imagine, and get away with them. His big thing was what he called ‘Truck Dodging’. He'd run out in front of them on the 196 and sometimes they'd miss him by bare inches. God knows how many heart attacks he'd caused, and he'd be laughing while the windblast from the passing truck rippled his clothes. It scared us because his vision was so lousy. Coke-bottle glasses or not. It seemed like only a matter of time before he misjudged one of those trucks. And you had to be careful what you dared him because Derek would do anything on a dare.**

“I knock.” Derek says.

“You four eyed pile of shit!” Emily yells playfully.

“That pile of shit has a thousand eyes!”

Emily and I laugh at his attempt of a comeback.

“What? What's so funny? Come on, I've got thirty, what have you got?’

“Sixteen.” Emily chuckles out.

“Go ahead, keep laughing. I'd turn you right down.” Derek says collecting the cards.

We all hear a knock coming from the bottom of the treehouse.

“That’s not the secret knock!” I yell out while trying to read the latest reports.

“I forget the secret knock, let me in!”

“Reid.” We all said in unison. 

“Come on you guys, open up!”

We moved the makeshift table so we could open the trapdoor that led into the treehouse. He climbs into the treehouse quickly with every last ounce of breath he had left. 

“Oh man, you guys are not gonna believe this. This is so boss. Oh man, wait'll you hear this, wait'll you hear this. You won't believe it. It's unbelievable. Let me catch my breath. I ran all

the way from my house.” Reid said while holding his chest.

The three of us stare at each other and get into an almost quartet position. 

“I ran all the way home. Do wap do wah ooo. Just to say I'm sorry, sorry oh...can't...” The three of us sang.

“Come on, guys, listen to me. Guys, come on! Okay, forget it. I'll tell you nothing.” Reid says trying to get our attention.

“Alright, guys, alright. What is it, man?” Emily asks him while holding back a laugh. 

“Okay, great, you won't believe this sincerely. I...” 

“I ran all the way home!” We start up again. 

“Screw you guys!”

“Okay, okay. What is it?” Emily asks for real this time.

“Can you guys camp out tonight? I mean if you tell your folks, we're gonna tent on my backfield?” 

“Yeah.” Derek and I answer at the same time. 

“I think so. Except my dad's kind of on a mean streak. You know, he's been drinking a lot lately.” Emily tells him while she shuffles the slightly tattered cards. 

**Emily's dad was always on a 'mean streak', more or less; he was a drunk who got welfare off and on - mostly on - and spent** **most of his time hanging out in Zippy's Tavern with Demetri Doyle, Ian Doyle's old man, and a couple of other local rumpots. Emily didn't talk much about her dad, but we all knew she hated him like poison.**

**Emily was marked up every two weeks or so, bruises on her cheeks and neck or one eye swelled up and as colourful as a sunset, and once she came into school with a big clumsy bandage on the back of her head. Other times she never got to school at all. Her mom would call her in sick because she was too lamed up to come in. Emily was smart, really smart, but she played truant a lot, and Mr. Hankel, the town truant officer, was always showing up at Emily's house, driving his old black Chevrolet with the ‘NO RIDERS’ sticker in the corner of the windshield. If Emily was being truant and Hankie (as we called him - always behind his back, of course) caught her, he would haul her back to school and see that Emily got detention for a week. But if Hankie found out that Emily was home because her father had beaten the shit out of her, Hankie just went away and didn't say boo to a cuckoo-bird. It never occurred to me to question this set of priorities until about twenty years later.**

**The year before, Emily had been suspended from school for two weeks. A bunch of milk-money disappeared when it was Emily's turn to be room-monitor and collect it, and because she was a Prentiss from those no-account Prentisses, she had to take a walk even though she always swore she never hawked that money. That was the time Mr. Prentiss put Emily in the hospital for an overnight stay. When her dad heard Emily was suspended, he broke Emily's nose and her right wrist.**

**Emily came from a bad family, all right, and everybody thought she would turn out bad...including Emily.**

**Her brothers had lived up to the town's expectations admirably. Michael, the eldest, ran away from home when he was seventeen, joined the Navy, and ended up doing a long stretch in Portsmouth for rape and criminal assault. The next-eldest, Aaron, had dropped out of high school in the tenth grade, and chummed around with Luke, Matthew Reid, and their old buddies.**

“You got to man, sincerely! You won't believe this! Can you, JJ?”

“Yeah, probably.” I say, going back to my magazine.

“So what are you pissin' and moaning about, Pretty Boy?” Derek asks him. 

“I knock.’ Emily tells Derek.

“What! You liar, you ain't got no pat-hand. You didn't deal yourself no pat-hand!” Derek yells in frustration. 

“Make your draw, shitheap.” Emily says while she laughs at him. 

“You guys wanna go see a dead body?” Reid asks us quietly. We all look at him knowing we all heard the same thing. 

“Well I was under the porch, digging, you know..”

**We all understood what Reid meant right away. At the beginning of the school-year he had buried a quart-jar of pennies underneath his house. He drew a treasure map, so he could find them again. A week later his mom cleaned out his room and threw away the map. Reid had been trying to find those pennies for nine months. Nine months, man. You didn't know whether to laugh or cry.**

_ Earlier…  _

_ Reid was underneath his house digging for his pennies. Above him, on the porch, was his older brother, Matthew, and his friend Luke Alvez. When he had heard them, he stopped digging and followed their voices as they walked around. Knowing the consequences if they found him, he prayed to God that he wouldn’t get caught. _

“Jesus Christ, Matt, we gotta do something!” Luke says. 

“What, who cares?” He asks.

“We saw him.”

“Saw? He ain't nothing to us. The kid's dead, so it ain't nothin’ to him neither. Who gives a shit, if they ever find him? I don't.” Matt tells Luke with a cigarette hanging from his lips.

“It was the kid they were talking about on the radio. Ferris, or Harris, Paris, whatever his name is. The train must have hit him.”

“Big fucking deal!” Matt tells him as he closes his lighter.

**We had all followed the Nathan Harris story very closely because he was a kid our age. Three days before he had gone out to pick blueberries and nobody had seen him since.**

“I think we should tell the cops.”

“You don't go squawking to the cops after you boosted a car, you idiot. They're gonna wanna know how the hell we got all the way on the Back Harlow road. Now they know, we don't got no car! It's best we just keep our mouths shut, then they can't touch us.”

“I agree, but we could make an anonymous call.”

“They trace those calls, stupid. I saw that on Highway Patrol and on Dragnet.”

“Alright. I just wish we never boosted that goddamn Dodge. I wish Ian had been with us. He could tell the cops we were in his car...”

“Well he wasn't!”

They leave the porch and start walking towards their normal hangout spot near the local bar.

“I wish we never boosted that fucking dodge.”

“Would you shut the fuck up already?”

After they finally walked off, out of sight, Spencer ran two miles from his house to the treehouse in the blistering heat. 

_ Back at the treehouse…  _

“I know the Back Harlow road! It comes to a dead end by the Royal river. The train tracks are right there! Me and my dad used to fish for cossies out there!” Derek yells out to all of us.

“Jesus Christ, man. If they would have known you were under the door they would have killed you.” Emily tells Spencer.

“Could he have gotten all the way from Chamberlain to Harlow? It's really far!” I ask Emily. 

“Sure. He must have started walking on the train tracks and just followed them the whole way.” She tells me as she shrugs her shoulders. 

“Yeah. Yeah, right. And then after dark the train must have come along and El smacko!” Derek says while punching his hand for emphasis. 

“Yeah. Hey, hey guys! I bet you anything that if we find him we'll get our pictures in the paper!” Emily tells us. 

“Yeah, we'd even be on TV!” Derek adds in.

“Sure!”

“We'll be heroes!”

“Yeah!”

“I don't know. Matty will know how I found out.” Reid says doubtfully. 

“He's not gonna care. Because it's gonna be us guys who find him. Not Matty and Luke Alvez in a boosted car. They'll probably pin a medal on you, Spence.” I tell him. 

“Yeah, you think so?” He asks happily.

‘Sure!” Emily tells him.

“What'll we tell our folks?” He frowns.

“Exactly what you said. We all tell our folks we're tenting out on your backfield. You tell your folks you're sleeping over Derek's. Then, we'll say we're going out to the drag-races the next day. We are solid until dinner tomorrow night.”

“That's a plan and a half.” Emily says as we both do the handshake we share amongst the group.

“But if we do find the kid's body over in South Harlow they'll know we didn't go to the drag-races! We'll get hided!” Reid says worriedly. 

“Nobody would care cos everybody is gonna be so jazzed about what we found it's not gonna make a difference!” Derek tells him.

“Yeah! My dad would hide me anyway. But hell, that's worth a hiding!” Emily yells enthusiastically. 

“Shit yeah!” Derek yells in agreement.

“Let's do it! What d'you say?” Emily asks everyone.

“Alright.” Derek says.

“Jayje?”

“Sure.”

“Reid?”

“I don't know.” Reid says timidly.

“Spencer.” She draws out trying to convince him.

“Come on, Pretty Boy!” Derek chimes in.

“Reid!”

“Reid!”

“Come on, Reid!” They both jump onto him. Emily was messing up his growing hair with a noogie while Derek pinched his cheeks like a grandma would to a child. 

‘Alright. Alright!” Reid says giving in knowing he lost this battle.

“Too cool! Very cool! Very cool!” They both cheered. 

**I wanted to share my friends' enthusiasm but I couldn't. That summer at home I had become the invisible girl.**

“Mom! You know where my canteen is?! Mom!” I yelled from the upstairs window.

She was folding clothes that were hanging from the clothes line while my dad was tending to the slowly dying garden. They both looked lifeless. They showed no emotions while they did their tasks. Their eyes had no light left in them.

“It's in Roslyn's room!” My dad yells out solemnly as he waters the plants.

“Oh.”

**In April my older sister, Roslyn, had been killed in a car accident. That was in New York City, where she attended college. Her and her best friend, Charlotte, were on their way to the back to the campus and a truck hit them broadside. Roslyn was killed instantly and her best friend had been in a coma ever since. Roslyn would have been twenty later that week.**

I walk into Roslyn’s room. I saw all of her singing trophies, her homecoming pictures, pictures of us. I open her closet and find my canteen and pick up the old yankee cap she gave me. She didn’t care for the Yankees or baseball like I did. In fact, she just liked the way it looked when her ex boyfriend had given it to her. I remember wanting that hat when she first got it. I wanted to wear it the very few times I went fishing with her and my dad. 

**When she was alive, her and my dad would go fishing a lot. They would go every two Sundays after church. It was usually just them because my mother hated the lake and what she considered “dirty water” and I would either be writing in my room or hanging out with Emily.**

**She called that hat her lucky cap because every time she wore it she caught more fish than people in the town.**

I look towards her bed and recall the time she gave me that hat. 

_ Two Years Ago…  _

**_“_ ** _ JJ, I got something for you! This my friend is for you.” She grabs her old yankee cap from her closet and hands it to me. _

**_“_ ** _ This is your Yankee-cap.” _

**_“_ ** _ No, no, this is your Yankee-cap.” She puts it on my head. “It's a good-luck cap. You wear that cap, you know how many fish we're gonna catch?”  _

**_“_ ** _ How much?” _

**_“_ ** _ A zillion. A zillion fish. It looks good on you too, just like that.” She hits the brim of the hat down causing me to only see the bottom of the brim. _

**_“_ ** _ Hey, I'm going blind!” _

**_“_ ** _ Ah, don't start with me porcupine. Come here, come here, give me a hug.” She hugs me like it was the last hug she was gonna give me. _

“You found it.” My father coldly says, pulling me out of my thoughts.

‘Huh?”

“You found it.”

“Yeah.” I tell him as I walk out of the room. 

“Why can't you have friends like Roslyn?”

“Dad, they're okay.” I say, annoyed. 

“Sure they are. A thief and two feebs.”

“Emily isn't a thief.”

“She stole the milk-money at school. She's a thief in my book.”

**He never really liked Emily or any of my friends. He always compared my friends and I to Roslyn and her friends. She was the epitome of perfect in his eyes. Sometimes I think he wishes that I was the one who died in that accident.**

I went back to my room. My room was on the second floor, and it must have been at least ninety degrees up there. It would be a hundred and ten by afternoon, even with all the windows open. I was really glad I wasn't sleeping there that night, and the thought of where we were going made me excited all over again. I made two blankets into a bedroll and tied it with my old belt and shoved it into an old knapsack. I collected all my money, which was one dollar and two cents. Then I was ready to go. I went down the back stairs to avoid meeting my Dad in front of the house, but I hadn't needed to worry; he was still out in the garden with the hose, making useless rainbows in the air and looking through them. 

\-------------

**It was almost noon as we set out to find the body of a dead kid named Nathan Harris. I was walking towards Emily’s house, still thinking about what had happened moments before, when I saw her riding in the back of an old farming truck. She had an old Boy Scout pack in one hand and two blankets rolled up and tied with clothes rope in the other.**

“Hey here’s good!’ Emily yells to the truck driver.

“Hey, Em.” I tell her quietly as she hops down.

“Thanks a lot!” She says to the driver while waving. 

“Sure thing!” He tells her.

“Hey, Jayje.” She says greeting me. 

“Hey.”

“D'you wanna see something?” She asks me eagerly. 

“Sure, what?” I say, sounding more sad than I intended. 

“Are you okay?” She asks me. 

“Yeah, I'm fine.” I say, not wanting to talk about it any further. 

“Come on!” She tells me while running towards the corner behind Kane’s diner. 

“What is it?”

“You gotta see this.” She tells me.

“Come on, Emily, what is it? Come on, what is it?” I ask her, wondering what she wants to show me. 

We stop at the back of the diner. She looked around before pulling her rolled up blanket towards her chest. She reaches into it and pulls out a Colt M19. I couldn’t believe my eyes.

“You wanna be the Lone Ranger or the Cisco-kid?” She asks me as she gives it to me.

“Walking, talking, Jesus! Where'd you get this?” I say while examining the gun. 

“Hawked it from my old man's bureau. It's a .45.”

“I can see that.” Although it could have been a .38 or a .357 for all I knew - in spite of all the John D MacDonalds and Ed McBains I'd read, the only pistol I'd ever seen up close was the one Constable Barnes carried ... and although all the kids asked her to take it out of its holster, Barnes never would. “Man, your dad's gonna hide you when he finds out. You said he was on a mean streak anyway.”

Her eyes just went on dancing. 

“That's it, Jayje. He ain't gonna find out nothing. Him and these other rummies are all laid up down in Richmond with six or eight bottles of wine. They won't be back for a week. Fucking rummies.” Her lips curled. 

**She was the only person in our gang who would never take a drink, even to show she had, you know, ‘big balls’. She said she wasn't going to grow up to be a fucking tosspot like her old man. And she told me once privately - this was after the Gentry-Hines twins showed up with a six-pack they'd hawked from their old man and everybody teased Emily because she wouldn't take a beer or even a swallow - that she was scared to drink. She said her father never got his nose all the way out of the bottle anymore, that her older brother had been drunk out of his tits when he raped that girl, and that Aaron was always guzzling purple Jesuses with Ian Doyle, Luke Alvez and Matthew Reid. What, she asked me, did I think her chances of letting go of the bottle would be once she picked it up? Maybe you think that's funny, a twelve-year-old worrying that she might be an incipient alcoholic, but it wasn't funny to Emily. Not at all. She'd thought about the possibility a lot.**

“Pchough! I say while imitating the noise of a gun. “You got shells for it?” I ask while pretending to shoot the trash can. 

“Yeah. Took all that was left in the box. My dad will think that he used them himself shooting at beer cans while he was drunk.”

“Pchough! Is it loaded?”

“Hell, no! What d'you think I am?”

I liked the heavy feeling the gun had while it sat there in my hand. I could see myself as Steve Carella of the 87th precinct, going after that guy The Heckler or maybe covering Myer Myer or Kling while they broke into a desperate junkie's sleazy apartment. I sighted on one of the smelly trash cans and squeezed the trigger.

_ BANG _

“Jesus!” We both screamed out as the bullet hit the trash can.

“Let's get out of here, come on!” We both run away from the diner as fast as we can.

“JJ did it, Jennifer Jareau is shooting up Quantico!” Emily yells out while laughing. 

“Shut up!” I yell at her.

“Hey, who did that? Who's letting cherry bombs off back here?” A woman with blonde hair wearing a waitress outfit yells out. 

“Oh man, you should have seen your face! Damn that was cool!” Emily says once we are far away enough.

“You knew it was loaded, you wet end! I'll be in trouble now that Kane girl saw me!” 

“Shit, Jayje, she thought it was firecrackers!”

“I don't care. It was a mean trick, Emily.” I scolded her.

‘Hey, JJ. I didn't know it was loaded. Honest.” She tells me.

“You swear?”

“Yeah, I swear.”

“On your mother's name?”

“Yeah.”

“Even if she goes to hell because you lied?”

“Yeah, I swear!”

“Pinky swear?” I say lifting my pinky into the air.

“Pinky swear.” She crosses her heart, kisses her pinky and then holds it up in the air. 

We were walking in front of the town’s old bar when Ian Doyle and Emily’s brother, Aaron, came out. Ian takes my hat from my head. 

“Hey, girls, where're you goin'?” Aaron asks us menacingly. 

“Hey, come on man, my sister gave me that!” I say as I try getting my hat back from Ian.

“And now you givin’ it to me.” Ian says while waving it in the air.

“Give it to me! Come on! Man! That's mine!” I tell him as he shoves me aside. 

“You're a real asshole, you know that?” Emily tells him.

“Your sister's not very polite, Aaron.” He tells him while handing him the hat.

“Now Emilia, I know you didn't mean to insult my friend.” Aaron tells her as he puts on my sister's hat.

“I know she didn't mean to insult me. That's why I'm gonna give her the opportunity to take it back.” Ian says as he throws his almost finished cigarette on the ground. In a matter of mere seconds, he grabs Emily by the back of her head taking her to the ground near the leftover cigarette and pins her to the concrete. 

“Ah, oh shit!” She says in pain while also eyeing the cigarette.

“Take it back!” He says while pointing the small, still lit cigarette towards her face.

“Oh fuck”.

“Come on, man, stop it! You're hurting her!” I yell at him as Aaron holds me back.

“You bastard! Leggo of me!” She fights back.

“Stop it man!” I continued yelling.

“Take it back!’ Ian said, still holding it to her face.

“Cut it out! Cut it out!”

“Take it back!”

“Okay, I'll take it back! I take it back.” She pleads. He lifts her from the ground standing her back up on her feet. Aaron shoves me out of his grasp. 

“There. Now I feel a whole lot better about this. How about you?” Ian says to the both of us, smiling.

We both stayed silent.

“Good.” He says smiling even wider. He pats me on the back of my neck as he turns around.

“See you later, girls.” Aaron says waving at us mockingly.

He stole the one thing I had left of Roslyn. I stare at the both of them, coldly, as they walk away. I watch Aaron take off the hat and throw it away at the trash can at the next corner.

“Come on Jayje, just forget them.” Emily tells me, trying to calm me down. 

We ventured off towards the treehouse to meet the others. As we walked we playfully kicked each other on the butt.

\------------

**When we met the two boys, we noticed that Derek had now changed into a plain army green t-shirt and put on his father’s dog tags. Spencer wore a striped collared shirt with khaki pants. Emily told them all about what happened at the back of the diner. She told them about the trash can and how I was now the new Cisco Kid of Quantico. We all laughed about it, including myself. She didn’t tell them about the interaction that happened with Ian and her brother. Maybe she didn’t want to seem scared in front of them.**

**I know to me, she was one of the bravest people I’ve ever met.**

“What do we need a pistol for anyway?” Reid asks Emily while trudging his knapsack.

“It's spooky sleeping out at night in the woods. We might see a bear or a garbage can.” Emily says looking at me while laughing. 

“I brought a comb.” Reid adds while taking out a pale yellow comb from his shirt pocket. 

**Reid didn’t have much hair so bringing a comb had no use to him. In fact, his mother would keep his head shaved because every time he would try and grow it out it would grow out of proportion.**

“What do we need a comb for?” Emily asks him.

“Well, if we get on TV we wanna look good, don't we?”

“It's a lot of thinking, Spence.” I tell him.

“Thanks.” He beams at me.

**Derek would usually pick on Reid because of his size. He was the skinniest and wimpiest kid in our grade. We hung out with him because, even though he was nice, we all knew he couldn’t protect himself. He wasn’t a fighter. Derek would try and toughen him up at times whether it was physically or mentally. We knew it wasn’t meant to be malicious but there were times when he would take it too far.**

**This wasn’t one of those times. He pretended like he was gonna hurt Reid and if he flinched, he would punch him twice for flinching.**

“Two for flinching.” He tells him as he punches Reid’s arm.

“Ow!” He says while rubbing his arm.

“How far d'you think it's gonna be?” Derek asks Emily.

“If we follow the tracks all the way into Harlow it might be about 20 miles. Sounds about right, right? Jayje?”

“Yeah, yeah. Might even be thirty.” I say looking at the long way ahead of us. I start walking.

“Gee. Maybe we should just hitchhike.” Reid says.

“No way, that sucks,” Derek tells him, walking by.

“Why not? We could go down Route Seven to the Shiloh church. Then down the Back Harlow road. We'd be there by sundown.” He tries to reason.

“That's pussy!” Derek yells back.

“Hey, it's a long ways.” He says catching up to him.

“Did your mother ever have any kids that lived?” 

“What d'you mean?”

Derek shakes his head leaving Reid confused.

________

**We were walking on the train tracks singing the theme song to “Have Gun, Will Travel” It was almost like a mantra to all of us. It felt very fitting for our adventure.**

“"Have Gun, Will Travel" reads the card of a man! A knight without armor in a savage land! His fast gun-for-hire heeds the calling wind. A soldier of fortune, he's a man called Paladin!”

“Paladin, Paladin, where do you roam? Paladin, Paladin, far, far from home.” Derek says finishing the song.

“We could fill up at the junkyard. My dad said it's a safe well.” I tell the group.

“Not if Chopper's there.” Reid adds.

“If Chopper's there we'll send you in.” Emily tells him.

“Ha ha, very funny.” He says sarcastically.

“Hey, I'm kind of hungry, who's got the food?” Reid asks us.

“Oh shit! Did anybody bring anything?” Derek asks.

“Not me. JJ?” Emily asks me. I shake my head in response.

“Well, this is great. What are we supposed to do? Eat our feet?” Derek exclaims.

“D'you mean, you didn't bring anything either?” She snaps at him.

“Well shit, this wasn't my idea. It was Reid's idea. Why didn't you bring something?” He yells at Reid.

“What am I supposed to do? Think of everything? I brought the comb!” He exclaims.

“Oh great, you brought a comb. What d'you need a comb for if you don't even have any hair?” Derek continues arguing.

“I brought it for you guys!”

“Hey, hey, hey, hey! Let's see how much money we've got.” I say, trying to calm them all down. We all sit on the train tracks as we take out the money from our pockets.

“Yeah. I got a dollar two. Sixty-eight cents from Emily. Sixty cents from Derek.” I say as I count the various coins. Then Reid gives me his money almost as if he was ashamed. I look down at the seven pennies that rested in my hands. “Seven cents, Reid.”

“Haven't found my pennies yet.”

“Well, $2.37 isn’t bad. Penelope's is at the end of the little road that goes by the junkyard. I think we can get some stuff there.” 

“Train coming.” Emily tells us as she gets up.

“Geronimo!” Reid says jumping down.

We all notice that Derek didn’t move from the tracks.

“Come on, Derek!” Emily tells him. 

“No. I'm gonna dodge it.” Derek tells her as he throws his rolled up blanket to the side of the tracks.

“Come on, Derek. Get off the tracks you're crazy.” She tells him with her voice becoming angier. 

“Train-dodge. Dig it.”

“Get the hell off the tracks, Derek! You wanna get yourself killed?”

“Just like the beach in Normandy. Tfrrrrr.” He changes his stance like he’s holding a machine gun in the war. 

He stares at the incoming train like it was an enemy of war. The next thing I know Emily is throwing her stuff to the ground and goes to the tracks to get him. 

“Come on, man. Come on!” She grabs him by his shirt first with him resisting. Then with all over her strength she lifts his entire body off the tracks as he is kicking and screaming profanities. 

She throws him towards me. I was holding Derek back with all of my strength so he wouldn’t do something he would regret later on. With the sounds of the train going by it was hard to decipher what they were saying. I heard Derek call Emily a bitch and an asshole. Emily was telling him that she just saved his life because he was about to kill himself. 

“I just saved your life, man! You wanna kill yourself? Is that what you want goddamnit? You tried to fucking kill yourself!” 

The train passed once their argument was over. Both were out of breath from screaming at the top of their lungs. The sudden adrenaline rush draining from their bodies.

“I don't need no babysitter. You fucking wet end.” Derek spits at her.

“You do too, asswipe.” 

For a moment we all took in what could’ve happened. We were already going to see one dead kid. We didn’t need to see another one. 

“Skin it.” She says holding out her hand.

“Could have dodged it.” He tells her as he walks away.

“Listen, Derek, you can dodge it on the way back, man.” She runs up to him trying to make amends. “Peace. Skin it.” She softly, but sincerely, says to him.

He looks at her with a hint of regret in his eyes. He makes peace with her. As far as Reid and I know, it’s settled.

  
  


\-------------

**At about this time Matt and Luke were playing mailbox-baseball with Ian and Aaron.**

_ Ian, Matt, and Luke were in a dirty, beat up, navy blue 1949 Ford Custom with Aaron driving. They were all drinking beers with the radio blasting “Great Balls of Fire” by Jerry Lee Lewis. Ian hits a wooden mailbox causing him to strike out. _

“Shit, I'm out, goddamn it.” Ian says resting the bat on his leg.

“Shouldn't have gone for a wooden one.” Aaron tells him.

“Why don't you tell me something I don't know, asshole? Matt you're up.” Ian tells him handing him the bat. 

“Ah, you guys go on. I don't wanna play no more.” 

“You can't quit. We only play three innings. That'd be an unofficial game.” Aaron tells him.

“Hey, Ian. Ah. Me'n Ma--” Luke starts but Matt stops him before he could mutter another word.

“What's with you two?! You've been actin' psycho all day. What is it?” Ian yells at the two of them.

“It's nothing, nothing, right?” Matt says while looking at Luke. 

“Well, if you gentlemen don't mind I'd like to finish this game before I start collecting my goddamn social security. Okay? You're up, Matty, move it!” Ian says motioning the bat towards him.

“Alright. Give me this fucking thing.” Matt says as he takes the bat reluctantly from Ian.

“Let's play ball!” Ian shouts.

Matt hits the upcoming mailbox but it doesn’t fall to the ground fully.

“Foul ball!” 

\---------------

We arrived at the junkyard. Through the tall chain link fence, we see all the abandoned cars and objects that now scattered the lot.

“Hey, Spence, looks like your ma's been out drivin' again.” I tell him.

“Ha, that's so funny I forgot to laugh.”

“Stand back, men! Paratroops over the side!” Derek says while throwing his stuff over the fence making an explosion sound with his mouth. We all follow suit after him.

**No Trespassing was enforced by Milo Pressman, the junkman, and his dog Chopper. The most feared and least seen dog in Quantico. Legend has it that Milo had trained Chopper not just to sic, but to sic specific parts of the human anatomy. Thus, a kid who had illegally scaled the junkyard fence might hear the dread cry: 'Chopper, sic balls!!' but right now neither the dread Chopper nor Milo was anywhere in sight.**

“Derek's crazy.” Emily tells me as she hops down from the fence.

“Come on men! Move it out!” Derek yells out as he runs into the junkyard.

“Yeah.” I respond.

“He won't live to be twenty I bet.”

“Remember the time you saved him in the tree?” I ask her.

“Yeah. You know I dream about that sometimes. Except in the dream I always miss him. I just get a couple of his hairs and down he goes. It's weird.” 

**The year before, Derek and Emily had been climbing the big pine tree behind my house. They were almost to the top and Emily said they couldn't go any further because all of the branches up there were rotten. Derek got that crazy stubborn look on his face and said fuck that, he had pine tar all over his hands and he was gonna go up until he could touch the top. Nothing Emily said could talk him out of it. So up he went, and he actually made it, he only weighed seventy-five pounds or so, if I remember. He stood there, clutching the top of the pine in one tar-gummy hand, shouting that he was king of the world or some stupid shit like that, and then there was a sickening, rotted crack as the branch he was standing on gave way and he plummeted. What happened next was one of those things that makes you sure there must be a God. Emily reached out, purely on reflex, and what she caught was a fistful of Derek Morgan's hair. And although her wrist swelled up fat and she was unable to use her right hand very well for almost two weeks, Emily held him until Derek, screaming and cursing, got his foot on a live branch thick enough to support his weight. If not for Emily's blind grab, he would have turned and crashed and smashed all the way to the foot of the tree, a hundred and twenty feet below. When they got down, Emily was grey-faced and almost puking with the fear reaction. And Derek wanted to fight her for pulling his hair. They would have gone at it too, if I hadn't been** **there to make peace.**

“Yeah. That's weird. You didn't miss him. Emily Prentiss never misses, does she?”

“I never do and I never will. Hey, I'll race ya!” She says while dusting herself off.

“No. I don't know. In this heat?”

“Right to the pump Jayje, come on.” She said, trying to convince me.

“I'm -- I'm kind of tired. Go!” I start running towards the large pump that Reid and Derek were already at. I had a small head start over Emily. 

“You're a dead woman, Jareau!” She yells out as she runs. “It looks like Jareau has got her this time. She's got Prentiss beat!” She starts gaining speed as I try my best to stay ahead. “But what's this? Prentiss is making her move! Jareau is fading on it! Prentiss at the tape! The crowd goes wild!” She yells out as she beats me by a mere few seconds. 

“You almost had me beat, Jareau.”

We both smile at each other as we try and catch our breath. She pats my back and we make our way to the pump. We sit by an old car that is surrounded by other car parts. We find an old empty can of beans and put it in the middle of all of us and start throwing small pebbles that surround us into it. We start talking about things kids our age would talk about.

“Have you guys been watching the Mickey Mouse Club lately?” Derek asks us.

“Yeah.” We all reply.

“I think Annette's tits are getting bigger.” He says missing the can.

“Think so?” Emily asks.

“Yeah, I think so.”

“Yeah. I think he's right. I've been noticing lately that the A and the E are beginning to bend around the sides.” I say as I motion my hands.

“Annette's t-tits are great!” Reid says, trying to chime in.

“Yeah.”

“This is really a good time.” Reid adds.

“The most.” Emily adds.

“A blast.” Derek adds.

**Reid didn't just mean being off limits inside the junkyard or fudging on our folks or going on a hike up the railroad tracks to Harlow. He meant those things, but it seems to me now there was more and that we all knew it. Everything was there and around us. We knew exactly who we were and exactly where we were going. It was grand.**

Instead of just throwing pebbles, I decide to try and spit water into the can. The others follow suit with Emily using my canteen and Reid using Derek’s. We all tried to spit each of our water streams perfectly into the can. Then just as Derek is about to go again he turns his head and spits his water at Reid.

“Great, spit at the wimpy kid. Real good. What time is it, JJ?”

“Uhm - It's a quarter after one.” I say checking my watch.

“We better go get the food. The junkyard opens at three. Chopper will be here.” Reid says worried.

“Uuh - Sic balls!” Emily says jokingly.

“You go. You can pick us up on the way back.” Derek tells Reid.

“I'm not going alone. We should all go.” Reid tells all of us.

‘I'm staying right here.”

“I'm not going.” I say.

“Girls cool it. We'll flip for it.” Emily tells all of us. She motions for me to take out some coins.

“Okay. Odd man goes?” I say to the group.

“That's you, Jenny. Odd as a cod!”

“Shut up.”

We all flip our quarters. We all get tails.

“Four tails! Oh Jesus, man, that's a goocher!” Reid says with fear. 

“Come on man. That doesn't mean anything!” We all tell him. 

“No man, a goocher. That's really bad. You remember when Peter Lewis and those guys got wiped out on Weed Hill in Durham? Matty told me they were flipping for beers. An' they came up with a goocher just before they got into the car. And bang! They all got totalled! I don't like this. Sincerely.”

“Pretty boy! Nobody believes in that crap about moons and goochers! It's baby stuff! Now come on. Flip again. Gonna flip or not?” Derek says.

“Come on, Spencer, we don't have all day.” Emily tells him.

We all flip again and everyone gets heads except for me. 

“You lose, JJ! Jenny loses! Oh Jenny just screwed the pooch!” Derek laughs out. 

“Does the word "dumbass" mean anything to you?” I say looking at him.

“JJ, go get the provisions you milksop!” Derek tells me while calming down from laughing.

“Don't call me any of your mother's pet names.” I say getting up annoyed.”

“What a wet end you are, Jareau!”

“Shut up!”

“I don't shut up, I grow up. And when I look at you I throw up! Blegh!” They all say in unison while making a vomiting sound and motion. 

“Then your mother comes round the corner and she licks it up.”

“Ohhhhh!” They all said to me. They continued to spit water at each other and roughhouse as I made my way to Penelope’s. 

**Finding new and preferably disgusting ways to degrade a friend's mother was always held in high regard.**

I made my way to that shop. It was a small shop near the junkyard you could get snacks at. It was run by an older bubbly woman named Penelope Garcia. Her husband, Kevin, used to run it but he died of a heart attack a few years back and she’s run it ever since. I walk in and start grabbing snacks for all of us. I grab some cokes for us and put them on the counter. 

“Aren't you Roslyn Jareau's sister? She asks me. 

“Yes, ma’am.” 

“Shame what happened to her. The Bible says 'In the midst of life we are in death'. Did you know that? I lost a brother in Korea. You look like your sister Roslyn. People ever tell you that?” 

“Sometimes.”

“I remember the year she was All-Conference. Varsity she was. Boy could she sing. Father God and Sonny Jesus!”

A memory of a past dinner comes to mind.

**_“_ ** _ There'll be some scouts at the concert tomorrow.” My dad tells her. _

**_“_ ** _ I don't know, Dad.” Roslyn says while trying to eat. _

**_“_ ** _ Dad, can I have the potatoes?” I ask him. _

**_“_ ** _ That's what I hear, Ros.” _

**_“_ ** _ Are you going to see Simon after the game? I think he's a handsome boy.”  _

**_“_ ** _ May I please have the potatoes?” I ask him again. My mom finally hears me and passes me the potatoes.  _

**_“_ ** _ Sandy, don't talk to the girl about boys. She shouldn't be thinking about boys. This is the biggest performance of her life. Roslyn, when you're up on stage tomorrow --” _

**_“_ ** _ Dad, did you read the story that JJ wrote? JJ wrote a story. It is really good.”  _

**_“_ ** _ What did you write sweetheart?” My mother asks me.  _

**_“_ ** _ See? That's what I'm talking about. Singing takes concentration. You start in on the boys and her mind's all over the place.” My dad says getting annoyed. _

**_“_ ** _ JJ, I really liked it. It was great.” She whispered to me. She smiled at me and patted me on the back.  _

\--------------

“D'you sing?” She asks me.

“Hm?”

“Do you sing?” 

“No.” I say shaking my head

“What do you do?” She asks me while wrapping a small chunk of uncooked hamburger meat. 

“I don't know.”

“Yeah. But your sister Roslyn sure could sing her heart out. Here ya go, kiddo. A buck and a half of hamburger.”

\--------------

I was walking back to where the rest of the group was when I noticed they, and all of their stuff, were gone. I walked towards where we broke in and saw Reid climb over the fence and land on the ground. 

“Hey! Hey you kid! What're you doing there?! Come over here! You, you! Come back here!” I started running away from him as fast as I could. “Come back here goddammit! I'll sic my dog on you!” 

“Run, JJ, run!” The group shouts at me.

“Chopper sic her, sic her boy!”

**Now he said "sic her boy". But what I heard was "Chopper! Sic! Balls!".** **Logically, I shouldn’t have been as scared as I was considering I didn’t have balls for him to sic.**

“AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!”

“Come on! Come on JJ keep running.” They continued yelling.

I grab the chain link fence and catch my breath for a split second. I climb over the fence as fast I can before Chopper can get to me. I land on the ground and look at the golden haired lab that was after me.

“That's Chopper?” I say while out of breath.

**Chopper was my first lesson in the vast difference between myth and reality. He wasn’t some savage dog with beady red eyes he was just a normal looking dog.**

“Come on, Choppy! Kiss my ass, Choppy! Kiss my ass! Come on bite shit!” Derek says while taunting the dog. The dog bites his shirt but doesn’t rip it. “Come on, Choppy, sic balls, Choppy!” Derek also adds while grabbing his crotch. 

“Hey you kids! Stop teasing that dog! You hear me? Stop it! Sonny, I'll beat your ass teasing my dog like that goddamnit!” Milo the junkman says while running over to the fence.

“Yeah, like to see you try to climb over the fence to get me, fatass!” Derek yells to him.

“Don't you call me that, you little tin-weasel Hank Morganloony's son!” He spits back.

“What did you call me?” Derek says standing straighter.

“I know who you are. You're Derek Morgan. Your dad's a loony. A loony up in the nuthouse at Snowden. He took both your ears. And he put ‘em to a stove. And he burnt ‘em off.

“My father stormed the beach at Normandy.” 

“He's crazier than a shithouse rat. No wonder you're actin' the way you are. With a loony for a father.”

“You call my dad a loony again and I'll fucking kill you. ” Derek said getting angrier. 

“Loony, loony, loony.” Milo says mockingly.

“AAAAH! I'm gonna rip your head off and shit down your neck!” Derek says with a red rage. He jumps on the fence attempting to climb back over but Emily and I pull him down before he could get any higher.

“You come on and try it you little slimy bastard!” Milo says while grinning wildly from the other side of the fence.

“He wants you to go over there so he can beat the piss out of you and then take you to the cops!” Emily yelled to him.

“You watch your mouth, you little shitweasel! Let him do his own fighting!” 

“Sure you only outweigh him by five hundred pounds, fatass!” I yell at him.

“I know your name. You're Jareau!” He says pointing at me. “I know all you guys. And all your fathers are gonna get a call from me!” He tells all of us. “Except for the loony up in Snowden.” He tells Derek teasingly.

“You son of a bitch! I’ll kill you!” Derek yells at him again attempting to climb over again. We pull him off again as he continues spitting out profanities. 

“Let me go! I’m gonna fucking kill him!”

We start walking away with all of our stuff. His voice got more faded as we walked.

“You come back here! Come back here, you hear me?!”

“Nobody ranks my old man!” Derek yells as tears of anger stream down his face.

“Come back here!”

“My father stormed the beach in Normandy!”

“I said come back here!”

“He stormed the beach, you fucking cunt!”

“Come back here!”

We walk in silence as Derek cries into Emily’s shoulder.

“We showed him - Thought we were a bunch of pussies.” Reid said, breaking the silence.

“He ranked my old man!” Derek said through tears.

**I wondered how Derek could care so much for his dad who practically killed him. I couldn't give a shit about my own dad who hadn't laid a hand on me since I was three and that was for eating bleach from under the sink.**

“He ranked my old man!”

“What d'you care what a bald old pile of shit like him says about your dad?” Emily tells him. 

“He still stormed the beach in Normandy, right?” I add.

“Forget it.” Derek said quietly.

“You think that pile of shit was at Normandy?” Reid says.

“Forget it, alright? He says getting more agitated. 

“He knows nothing about your old man. He's just dogshit.” Reid adds.

“Whatever is between you and your old man. He can't change that!” Emily tells him. 

“Forget it! Alright? Just forget it!” Derek yells at us through his tears. We are all silent afterwards.

“"Have Gun, Will Travel" reads the card of a man. A knight without armor in a savage land…” Reid sings but stops when Emily and I stare at him. 

“I'm sorry if I'm spoiling everybody's good time.” Derek says while sniffling.

“It's okay, it's okay, man.” Emily says while patting his back.

“I'm not sure it should be a good time.” I say softly.

“You saying you wanna go back?” Emily asks.

“No. We’re going to see a dead kid, maybe it shouldn't be a party.” I softly tell all of them.

“Yeah, like if he's really bad like all cut up with blood and shit all over him; I might have nightmares!” Reid says with fear.

“Come on, Reid.” Emily tells him not wanting to hear his banter.

“You know like all guts and eyeballs jumping around?” He continues. 

“Shut up, Spencer goddamnit!” She yells at him.

“Can't help it, sorry.” He says defeated.

**It was only a quarter to three but it felt much later. It was too hot and too much had happened. We weren't even close to the Royal River yet. We were gonna have to get moving if we were gonna have to make some real miles before dark.**

**By this time Ian and his gang were hanging out in Jason Gideon’s back field. They hung out there often because it was the coolest place in their eyes. Aaron was carving a snake into Matt’s arm. They always used to call him Hotch because he used to fidget with his hands when he got angry.**

“Hold still, will you. Hold it. So what's with you and this Kristy Jacobson chick?” Aaron asks Matt.

“I've been seeing her for over a month now and all she let me do is feel her up.”

“She's a catholic, man. They're all like that. If you wanna get laid, you gotta get yourself a Protestant. Jews good.” Ian tells him while cleaning a carburetor. 

_ A KLAM newsbreak. We interrupt to bring you an update on the search for the missing twelve year old Nathan Harris. The Police have expanded their efforts to include Motton, Durham and the outlying areas. Police indicated…  _

“...give up. The kid's gone, they're never gonna find him.” Aaron says trying to make sure his work looks good.

“Not where they're looking.” Luke says.

“Hey Aaron's right, Luke, they're never gonna find him.” Matt says while turning around to face him.

“Will you hold still you're making me fuck up the snake part.” Aaron tells him. 

“I tell you how they're gonna find him: Ten years from now some hunter's going to the woods taking a leak and wind up pissin' on his bones.” A boy named David Rossi says.

“I bet you a thousand bucks they find him before that!” Luke tells him.

“I bet you two thousand dollars they don't!” Aaron says mocking him.

“Well asshole --”

“Hey what's the big deal? Who cares?” Matt tells them both.

“Will you two just shut the fuck up. If either one of you assholes had two thousand dollars I'd kill you both.” Ian tells them while he buffed the car part.

_ “Hey we're back here with the Bossman Bob Cormier. From the racks and stacks it's the best on wax! It's the Chordettes with Lollipop!” _

\----------

We were walking on the train tracks in pairs. Emily and I walked together while Derek and Reid walked ahead of us and sang “Lollipop”. It was quiet between us. Both wanted to break the awkward tension but didn’t know how.

“Hey, I got some Winstons. Hawked them from my old man's dresser. One apiece for after supper.” Emily says to me, breaking the silence.

“Yeah, that's cool.”

“Yeah that's when a cigarette tastes best: after supper.”

“Great.” I debate on saying the next words but knowing Emily I knew she would give me an honest answer. “Emily? D'you think I'm weird?” 

“Definitely.” She answers with a laugh.

“No Em, seriously. Am I weird?” 

“Yeah. But so what; everybody is weird. You ready for school?”

“Yeah.”

“Junior High. You know what that means. By next June, we'll all be split up.” She says with a hint of sadness.

“What're you talking about, why the fuck would that happen?” I ask her.

“It's not gonna be like grammar-school, that's why. You're taking your college-courses and me, Derek and Reid will all be in the shop-courses with all the rest of the idiots making ashtrays and birdhouses. You're gonna meet a lot of new people. Smart people.” She says turning towards me.

“Meet a lot of pussies is what you mean.” I say while kicking a rock.

“No, Jayje. Don't say that, don't even think that.” She says trying to stop me.

“I’m not going to meet a lot of pussies, forget it!” I tell her.

“Well then you're an asshole!”

“What's asshole about wanting to be with your friends?”

“It's asshole if your friends drag you down! You hang with us, you'll be just another wise guy with shit for brains.”

_ Meanwhile... _

“You think Mighty Mouse could beat up Superman?” Reid asks Derek.

“What? Are you cracked?” 

“Why not? I saw the other day he was carrying five elephants in one hand!”

“You don't know anything. Mighty Mouse is a cartoon. Superman is a real guy. No way a cartoon could beat up a real guy.”

“Yeah. Maybe you're right. Would be a good fight though.”

Derek grins and rolls his eyes in response.

\----------

“You could be a real writer someday, Jayje.”

“Fuck writing! I don't wanna be a writer! It's stupid! It's a stupid wasted time!” 

“That's your dad talking.”

“Bullshit.”

“Bulltrue. I know how your dad feels about you; he doesn't give a shit about you. Rosyln was the one he cared about, and don't try to tell me different!” There was a brief silence before she spoke again. “You're just a kid, Jayje.”

“Oh gee, thanks, dad!” I yell at her.

“Wish the hell I was your dad. You wouldn't be going around talking about taking these stupid shop-courses if I was. It's like God gave you something, Jen. All those stories that you can make up. And He said: This is what we got for you, kid, try not to lose it. But kids lose everything unless there's someone there to look after them. And if your parents are too fucked up to do it then maybe I should.” She sternly told me like she was my dad. 

“Come on you guys, let's get moving!” Reid yells towards us.

“Yeah. By time we get there the kid won't even be dead anymore!” Derek adds.

**I know Emily meant well. She always did. At the time I didn’t like it but now, looking back, she was looking out for me. Much like Roslyn would have.**

We got to the bridge that the train tracks continued on. We were all nervous to cross it because if the train came we had nowhere to go but in the water below.

“Any of you guys know when the next train is due?” Reid asks us.

“We could go down to the route 136 bridge.” Emily says.

“What, are you crazy? That's five miles down the river. You walk five miles down the river you gotta walk five miles back. That could take till dark. If we'll go across here we'll get to the same place in ten minutes.” Derek exclaims.

“Yeah. But if a train comes there's nowhere to go.” Reid tells him.

“Well, there isn't. You just jump.” 

“Derek that's a hundred feet.” Emily tells him.

“Yeah, Derek.” 

“Okay. You guys can go around if you want. I'm crossing here. And while you guys are dragging your candy-asses halfway across the state and back I'll be waiting for you on the other side, relaxing with my thoughts.”

“You use your left hand or your right hand for that?” I ask Derek.

“You wish.” He tells me.

We walk on the tracks. Derek was ahead of us walking on the edge near the water.

“Derek, get back in the middle of the tracks.” 

“I’m fine. I’m not gonna fall.” As he says that, he almost loses his balance causing all of us to widen our eyes in fear. 

He moved to the middle of tracks with the rest of us but instead he walked backwards like he was trying to impress us. He takes the first few steps perfectly but then he steps in a gap causing him to slip through. We all stood in fear as we watched his body slip through the air like a vacuum had sucked dirt. Luckily, he grabbed onto the wooden railroad ties that the track was connected to. He hung there for a minute looking down at the water as he watched his short life flash before his eyes. Emily goes to where he is and pulls him up trying not to fall in water and meet a demise. 

“I wasn’t gonna fall.” He said while he shrugged his shoulders.

“Shut up, Derek. Let’s go.”

They walked ahead of Reid and I. After Reid saw Derek slip through the tracks, he decided to crawl the rest of the way. I walked behind him going slower than a turtle going through thick tar. I watched my feet looking at the water as it glistened in the sun. I watch Reid reach for something as he rests his head in the beam. 

“I lost the comb.” He says defeated.

“Just forget it, Spence.”

We continue walking when I hear a whistle. At first I thought it was my mind playing tricks on me but then I saw the smoke.

“TRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIN!” They all turn their heads towards me. The look of horror washed on all of their faces. 

“Oh shit.” Reid says while trying to crawl faster.

I watch Derek and Emily run faster than the wind.

“Go man, go man! Get up Spence! Dammit! Get aaaap! Go man! Shit, Spence, you! Get up!” I yell at him while trying to stand him up.

“But I'm gonna fall!” He says with tears streaming down his face.

“Dammit! Goddammit get aaap! Go! Go!” I continue yelling.

We continue running for our lives. Adrenaline pumping through all of our veins. The train whistle grew louder and the end of the bridge couldn’t come soon enough. The end of the tracks were in our reach but I knew with the heat we couldn’t make it. So, with all of my strength, I pick up Reid and throw us towards the side of the tracks. We landed on the hard dirt ground that was surrounded by rocks. We both ached from head to toe. We watched as the short freight went by with our hearts pounding in our ears.

“Hey, at least now we know when the next train was due.” Emily says laughing while looking down at us from the tracks. 

\-------

**We settled in for the night. It was still hot so all of us had our shirts around our necks leaving our stomachs and chest exposed. We made a campfire to cook marshmallows and talked about what had happened earlier that day.**

“Man. That was the old-time train-dodge. Too cool. Reid you were so scared you looked like the fat guy in Abbott and Costello the time he saw the mummy.” Derek tells Reid while he toasts his marshmallow. 

“I wasn't that scared!” Reid said, trying to defend himself. 

“Reid!” We all say. 

“No, really, I wasn't. Sincerely.”

“Okay. Then you won't mind if we check the seats of your Jockeys for Hershey-squirts, will ya?” I jokingly asked him.

“Oh screw.”

“Jayje? Were you scared?” Emily asks me.

“Hell yeah I was scared. I was fucking petrified.” I say with a small laugh.

“Reid, you better turn yours over.” Emily tells him as his marshmallow starts to droop.

“It’s the way I like to do it.” 

“Fine.”

A few seconds after she says that, his marshmallow falls into the fire. 

“Oh man! You got any more, JJ?” We all laugh at him as he tries to get it from the fire.

“Sorry, Spence.” I say as I laugh. 

“It's not funny, what am I supposed to eat?” 

“Why don't you eat your dick?” Derek says.

“It would be a small meal.” Emily adds while laughing.

Reid pokes his stick into the fire trying to stab, the now, overly burnt marshmallow. After a few tries he actually gets it.

“Screw you guys I got it!”

After we ate, we all grabbed a cigarette from Emily’s bag. She lit it with one of the few matches she had left. 

“Nothing like a smoke after a meal.” Reid says.

“Yeah. I cherish these moments.” Derek says while lying down. 

Emily chuckles at his comment.

“What? What did I say?”

“Hey, Jayje, why don't you tell us a story?” Emily asks me.

“I-I don't know.” I tell her. 

“Oh come on.” She tells me trying to convince me. 

“Yeah, come on, JJ. But not one of your horror stories, okay? I don't wanna hear no horror stories. I'm not up for that.” Reid adds.

“Why don't you tell us one about Sergeant Stone and his battling leathernecks?” Derek asks.

“Well the one I've been thinking about is kind of different. It's about this pie-eating contest. And the main guy of the story is a fat kid that nobody likes named Daniel Alvez.”

“Like Luke Alvez's brother. If he had one.” Reid chimes.

“Good, Reid. Go on, Jayje.” Emily tells me. 

“Well this kid is our age but he's fat, real fat. He weighs close to one-eighty. But you know it's not his fault it's his glands...”

“Oh yeah, my cousin's like that, sincerely. She weighs over three hundred pounds. Supposed to be Hyboid Gland or something. Well I don't know about any Hyboid Glands, but what a blimp. No shit she looks like a Thanksgiving turkey. And you know this one time --” Reid says as he starts rambling. 

“Shut the fuck up, Reid.” Emily gently tells him.

“Yeah, yeah, right. Go on, JJ, it's a swell story.” 

“...Well all the kids instead of calling him Danny they call him Lardass. Lardass Alvez. Even his little brother and sister call him Lardass. A-at school they put a sticker on his back that says 'wide load', and they rank him out and beat him up whenever they get a chance. But one day he gets an idea. The greatest revenge-idea a kid ever had.” They all lean in closer as I continue the story.

\-----------------

**_“_ ** _ The thing on? Can you hear me? Now the next contestant in the great tri-county pie-eat Principal John Wiggins!” The crowd cheers as they watch him walk to the pie eating table. _

_ “And our celebrity-contestant from KLAM in Virginia the Bossman himself; Bob Cormier!” Bob Cormier grabs the mic preparing to speak.  _

_ “Hey, from the racks and stacks it's the best on wax. How about another olden golden twin spin sound set. With K-L-A-M in Virginia iiiiiiiiit's !” _

_“_ _ Boss!” The crowd screams out. _

_“_ _ A newcomer to the pie-eat but one we expect great things from in the future. Young master Daniel Alvez!” _

_ Bill Travis trips Danny on his way up. He goes up to him with fake sympathy.  _

**_“_ ** _ Are you alright, young man?” He asks him _

**_“_ ** _ Hey, Lardass, how was your trip?” A random heckler says. _

**_“_ ** _ I hear you got a big appetite, Lardass, don't even think about winning this.” Bill says to him while getting him up. _

_ “Boy are you fat!” Another heckler yells. _

**_“_ ** _ Don't pay any attention to those fools, Lardass -uh- Davie.” The mayor corrects himself. _

**_“_ ** _ Boom-baba-boom-baba--.” A group of men wearing yellow shirts with antlers on their heads start chanting, He stares at them before reaching the table. “Boum-baba-boum-bada-boum.” _

**_“_ ** _ And now the one you've all been waiting for, the four-time champion, our own Bill Travis!” The crowd cheers for the reigning champion. “Listen, I got ten riding on you myself, Billy-boy.” He tells him quietly. _

_ “Alright, are you ready?! Hands behind your backs, gentlemen! Drumroll!”  _

_ “Hey, Lardass! Chow down, wide load!” The Donnelly Twins shout.  _

**_“_ ** _ Ha, ha, ha. GO!”  _

_ They all dive into their first pie, rushing to be the first one done.  _

_ “Done!” Lardass yells to the referee. _

_ The other competitors became more intimidated once they saw his pace. _

**_“_ ** _ You better pace yourself if you wanna hold out, boy.” The mayor tells him as he dives into his next pie. _

**_“_ ** _ Lardass! Lardass!” The crowd cheered. _

“What the audience didn't know was that Lardass wasn't really interested in winning. What he wanted was revenge. And right before he was introduced, he'd gotten ready for it.”

_ As the mayor announced Bob Cormier’s name, Lardass stood behind the tent and took out a bottle of castor oil from the pocket of his trousers. He takes the bottle of castor oil and chugs it like its water. He then takes a raw egg from his shirt pocket and cracks into his mouth cringing at the slimy substance going down his throat.  _

**_“_ ** _ Principal John Wiggins! And our celebrity-contestant from KLAM in Virginia the Bossman himself; Bob Cormier!” _

**_“_ ** _ Hey, from the racks and stacks it's the best on wax. How about another olden golden twin spin soundset. With K-L-A-M in Virginia iiiiiiiiit's!” _

_ “Done!” He yelled as he finished his fifth pie. _

“By the time he was eating his sixth pie, Lardass began to imagine that he wasn't eating pies, he pretended he was eating cow flops and rat guts in blueberry-sauce.”

**_“_ ** _ Lardass! Lardass!” The crowd continued cheering. _

**_“_ ** _ Done!” Then he stopped knowing what was about to come next. _

“Slowly a sound started to build in Lardass' stomach. A strange and scary sound like a log-truck coming at you at a hundred miles an hour.” I say pausing for dramatic effect. 

“Suddenly, Lardass opened his mouth. And before Bill Travis knew it, he was covered with five pies worth of used blueberries. The women in the audience screamed. Bossman Bob Cormier takes one look at Bill Travis and barfed on Principal Wiggins. Principal Wiggins barfed on the lumberjack that was sitting next to him. Mayor Grundy barfed on his wife's chest. But when the smell hit the crowd, that's when Lardass' plan really started to work. Girlfriends barfed on boyfriends. Kids barfed on their parents. A fat lady barfed in her purse. The Donnelly-twins barfed on each other. And the women's auxiliary barfed all over the benevolent order of antelopes. And Lardass just sat back and enjoyed what he created. A complete and total barf-o-rama.” 

“Yeah!” They all cheered. 

“Now that was the best, just the best.” Emily says while clapping. 

“Yeah.” Reid adds.

“Then what happened?” Derek asks me.

“What do you mean?” I ask him.

“I mean, what happened?”

“What do you mean what happened, that's the end.”

“How can that be the end, what kind of an ending is that? What happened to Lardass?” 

“I don't know. Maybe he went home and celebrated with a couple of cheeseburgers.” I say shrugging my shoulders. 

“Jeez. That sucks. Why don't you make it so that Lardass goes home, and he shoots his father. An' he runs away. An'-an' he joins the Texas-Rangers. How about that?” He asks me.

“I-I don't know.”

“Something good like that.”

“I like the ending. The barfing was really good. But there is one thing I didn't understand.” We all stared at Reid wondering what he was gonna ask. “Did Lardass have to pay to get into the contest?”

“No, Spence, they just let him in.”

“Oh! Oh great. Great story.”

“Yeah it's a good story, JJ, I just don't like the ending.” Derek tells me as he puts his finished cigarette into the fire.

“Hey, Reid, where's the radio?, let's see if we can get some sounds.” Emily asks Reid as she adjusts herself.

“Here, I'll find something.” Reid says as he hands her a small portable radio. 

**We talked into the night. The kind of talk that seemed important until you discovered girls and sex.**

“Alright, alright. Mickey's a mouse. Donald's a duck. Pluto's a dog. What's Goofy?” I asked the group.

“If I can only have one food for the rest of my life? That's easy. Pez. Cherry flavored Pez. No question about it.” Reid tells us.

“Goofy's a dog; he's definitely a dog.” Derek says. 

“I knew the sixty-four thousand dollars question was fixed. There's no way anybody can know that much about opera.” I tell Reid.

“He can't be a dog. Wears a hat and drives a car.” Emily tells Derek.

“You know Wagon Train's a really cool show. But did you ever notice that they never get anywhere? They just keep wagon training.” I say as I adjust myself.

“God, that is weird. What the hell is Goofy?” Reid says, sounding a little bit stressed. 

**None of us mentioned Nathan Harris but we were all thinking about him.**

Then, as we all try and fall asleep, we hear a howling noise. Reid shoots up out of his blanket in fear.

“Oh my God!” Reid says with the fear in his tone.

“It's that Harris-kid. His ghost's out walking in the woods.” Derek says trying to sound like a ghost, trying to scare him.

“I promise I'll hawk no more dirty books. I promise I won't say no more bad swears. I promise I'll eat all my lima beans!” Reid says into the abyss trying to bargain for safety. Then Derek sneaks up behind him and taps him on the shoulder. “Ah!”

“Two for flinching.” He tells him as he punches his arm twice.

“What is it, Emily?” I ask her.

“Maybe it's coyotes.” She tells me while she holds the gun looking around.

“It sounds like a woman screaming.” I tell her.

“It's not coyotes. It's his ghost.” Derek says while getting up.

“Don't say that.” Reid tells him trying not to be too scared.

“Hey Derek, sit down!” Emily tells him.

“I'm gonna look for it. I wanna see the ghost!” 

“Don't say that.” Reid tells him again.

“I just wanna see it! I wanna see what it looks like...!” But before he could finish his sentence the howl grew closer. Derek fell down in fear to the ground and almost landed in the fire. Luckily, Emily caught his shirt before it could happen. We all look at each other for ideas, wondering what we should do next. 

“Maybe we should stand guard.” Reid said quietly.

“Yeah, that's a good idea.” Emily tells him.

“Gimme the gun. I'll take the first watch.” Derek tells her. He goes by the tree and stands there like a soldier while the rest of us try to sleep. 

“Twenty-three hundred hours. Corporal Derek Morgan stands guard. No sign of the enemy. The fort is secure.”

“Shut up Derek, and keep your eyes peeled.” Emily tells him.

“Tututuu! Tututuuu!” Derek starts to make a trumpet sound with his hands.

“Hey, Derek, cut it out! We are trying to sleep!” We all yell at him.

“The dogfaces rested easy, in the knowledge that Corporal Derek Morgan was protecting all of what scared them.”

“Derek!”

He shuts up after that.

**We all took turns keeping watch. Reid was after Derek. He was scared his entire shift. He kept whimpering and pointing the gun at whatever made a sound. Then, it was Emily’s turn. She made sure the fire was still going and made sure we were all asleep. During her shift, I had a nightmare that felt too real.**

_ It was Roslyn’s funeral. The family and people from all over town gathered to watch be put into the ground. It was bright considering the gloomy occasion. The spring air felt nice against my dress-clad skin. I stared at the navy blue coffin as they lowered it down. I was standing in between both of my parents. My mother cried as she watched her eldest daughter go into the ground. I feel a hand go on my shoulder. I look and it’s my father and with the most serious tone, he tells me the words I know he’s always wanted to say. _

**_“_ ** _ It should have been you, Jennifer.”  _

“Aahh! Ohh.” I wake up in a panic. I clutch my chest as I try and catch my breath.

“Are you okay?” Emily asks me while she tends to the fire.

“Huh?”

“You were dreaming.” She says softly.

“I didn't cry at Roslyn's funeral. I miss her, Emily. I really miss her.” I tell her quietly.

“I know. Go back to sleep.” She looks at me, acknowledging that I didn’t want to talk about it any further.

She goes back to the tree and sits down. She puts her knees to her chest to try and keep herself comfortable. I get up and sit next to her and keep her company.

“Maybe you could go into the College-courses with me.” I tell her loud enough for her to hear.

“That'll be the day.” She with a small scoff.

“Why not? You're smart enough.”

“They won't let me.”

“What d'you mean?”

“It's the way people think of my family in this town. It's the way they think of me. Just one of those lowlife Prentiss-kids.”

“That's not true.” 

“Oh it is.” She scoffs again. “No one even asked me if I took the milk money that time. I just got a three-day vacation.” 

“Did you take it?”

“Yeah I took it. You knew I took it. Derek knew I took it. Everyone knew I took it. Even Spencer knew it. I think. Maybe, I was sorry and I tried to give it back.”

“Tried to give it back?” 

“Maybe, just maybe. And maybe I took it to Old Lady Strauss and told her. And the money was all there. But I still got a three-day vacation because it never showed up. And maybe the next week Old lady Strauss had that brand new skirt on when she came to school.” 

“Yeah, yeah. It was brown and had dots on it!”

“Yeah. So let's just say that I stole the milk money but Old Lady Strauss stole it back from me. Just suppose that I told the story. Me, Emily Prentiss, kid sister of Aaron Prentiss. You think that anybody would have believed it?

“No.” 

“And d'you think that that bitch would have dared try something like that if it would have been one of those douchebags from up on The Hills that had taken the money?”

“No way!”

“Oh no! But with me; I'm sure she had her eyes on that skirt for a long time. Anyway, she saw her chance and she took it. I was the stupid one for even trying to give it back.” I could hear her voice starting to break. “I never thought - I never thought that a teacher-- Oh who gives a fuck anyway?” She breaks down in tears and cries into her folded arms. 

**That was the first time I ever saw her cry.**

“I just wish I could go someplace where nobody knows me.” She sniffles and wipes her nose. “I guess I'm just a pussy, huh Jayje.” She breaks down again.

“No way, no way.” I tell her, holding her, as she cries into my shoulder.

She cried herself to sleep that night. I woke her up so she could go lay down while I took the last shift. 

**The others slept heavily through the rest of the night. I was in and out: dozing, waking, dozing again. The night was far from silent. I heard the triumphant screech-squawk of a pouncing owl, the tiny cry of some small animal perhaps about to be eaten, a larger something blundering wildly through the undergrowth. Under all of this, a steady tone, were the crickets. There were no more screams. I dozed and woke, woke and dozed, and I suppose if I had been discovered standing such a slipshod watch in Le Dio, I probably would have been court-martialed and shot.**

**I snapped more solidly out of my last doze and became aware that something was different. It took a moment or two to figure it out: although the moon was down, I could see my hands resting on my jeans. My watch said quarter to five. It was dawn.**

**I stood, hearing my spine crackle, walked two dozen feet away from the lumped-together bodies of my friends, and pissed into a clump of sumac. I was starting to shake the night-willies; I could feel them sliding away. It was a fine feeling. I scrambled up the cinders to the railroad tracks and sat on one of the rails, idly chucking cinders between my feet, in no hurry to wake the others. At that precise moment the new day felt too good to share.**

**Morning came on apace. The noise of the crickets began to drop, and the shadows under the trees and bushes evaporated like puddles after a shower. The air had that peculiar lack of taste that presages the latest hot day in a famous series of hot days. Birds that had maybe cowered all night, just as we had done, now began to twitter self-importantly. A wren landed on top of the deadfall from which we had taken our firewood, preened itself, and then flew off.**

**I don't know how long I sat there on that rail, watching the purple steal out of the sky as noiselessly as it had stolen in the evening before. Long enough for my butt to start complaining, anyway. I was about to get up when I looked to my right and saw a deer standing in the railroad bed not ten yards from me.**

**My heart went up into my throat so high that I think I could have put my hand in my mouth and touched it. My stomach filled with a hot, dry excitement. I didn't move. I couldn't have moved if I wanted to. Her eyes weren't brown but a dark, dusty black - the kind of velvet you see back grounding jewelry displays. Her small ears were scuffed suede. She looked at me serenely, head slightly lowered in what I took for curiosity, seeing a kid with her hair in a sleep-scarecrow of whirls and many tangles, wearing jeans with cuffs and a red shirt with blue and white stripes going across it. What I was seeing was some sort of gift, something given with a carelessness that was appalling.**

**We looked at each other for a long time...I think it was a long time. Then she turned and walked off to the other side of the tracks, white bobtail flipping insouciantly. She found grass and began to crop. I couldn't believe it. She had begun a crop. She didn't look back at me and didn't need to; I was frozen solid.**

**Then the rail started to thrum under my ass and bare seconds later the doe's head came up, cocked back towards Quantico. She stood there, her branch-black nose working on the air, coaxing it a little. Then she was gone in three gangling leaps, vanishing into the woods with no sound but one rotted branch, which broke with a sound like a track refs starter-gun. I sat there, looking mesmerized at the spot where she had been, until the actual sound of the freight came up through the stillness. Then I skidded back down the bank to where the others were sleeping.**

**The freight woke up the others and it was on the tip of my tongue to tell them about the deer. But I didn't. That was the one thing I kept to myself. I've never spoken or written about it until just now.**

“Jeez, JJ. Why couldn't you get some breakfast stuff like twinkies and root beer?” Reid asks me while eating his piece of hamburger we had cooked for breakfast that had sat in his shirt like a trough for a pig.

“Sorry, Vern. I guess a more experienced shopper could have gotten more for your seven cents.” I tell him. 

**With our stomachs rumbling, we pressed on toward the Royal River. The reality of Nathan Harris was growing and kept us moving despite the heat. For me, the idea of seeing that kid's dead body was starting to become an obsession.**

“Ladies and Jayje, the Royal.” Emily tells us.

“God, the tracks go way out of the way.” Derek says.

“If we cut across this field right here, we'll be there in an hour.” 

“I think we should stick to the tracks.” Reid says uneasy.

“I say we go across the field.” Derek says.

“Jayje?”

“Yeah.” I say as I nod my head.

“Let's go!” 

“Take no prisoners! Tfrrrrrrr!” Derek yells. We all ran down the steep hill that led us to the river.

“Hey you guys! It's a lot safer if we ah--” Reid yells trying to get us to listen.

“Come on man!” Derek continues yelling.

“You don't know what's in those woods!” Reid continues.

“Let's go!”

“Hey you guys! wait up for me!”

As Reid runs down to catch up to us, he falls, causing him to semi-roll down the hill.

\---------

**Meanwhile, Luke and Matt decided to tell Ian and Aaron their secret. Ian and Luke were shooting pool in the town’s bar while Matt and Aaron were fishing off of a bridge.**

“Ian. I gotta tell you something but you gotta swear on your mother's good name that you won't tell anybody.” Luke tells Ian as he lines up his shot.

“You got it, pal.”

\----------

“Hey Aaron, you know that Harris-kid?

“What about him?”

“I'd like to tell you something about him, but you gotta swear on your mother's good name that you ain't gonna tell nobody.”

**Luke and Matt had managed to keep their enormous secret for about thirty-six hours, a personal record for both of them. By noon Ian and Aaron had told their secret to everybody in the gang. I guess for those guys, protecting their mother's good name wasn't a top priority.**

“Listen, Ace. Maybe me 'n Matty shouldn't go.” Luke tells Ian as he loads up his car with fishing gear. 

“Yeah, maybe you can go without us.” Matt adds

“You guys are actin' like my grandmother having a conniption-fit. I don't see your problem! We go up with a whole lot of fishing gear and if a cop asks what we're doing there we'll just say that we were here to take a couple of steelheads out of the river and look at what we found!” Ian tells them while he leans against the car.

“Yeah, come on, man we're gonna be famous! We're gonna be on every radio-TV-show in the country!” David adds.

“I still don't think we should go.” Luke says.

“Okay. Okay. You stated your position clearly. Now I'm gonna state mine. Get in the fucking car! Now! Let's go.” Ian yells at them. They listen and hop into his car.

\----------

We were all ankle deep in mud. We have been walking for about fifteen minutes. It was hot and our feet were now caked in it.

“I hate this shortcut.” Reid complains.

“I hate this shortcut.” Derek mimics.

Then Reid pulled a Derek on Derek.

“Hahaha! You flinched! Two for flinching!” Then Derek hits his arm twice. “But you flinched.” He says while confused about his action.

“I know. Two for flinching.” Derek smirks.

We end up at a small lake. We all look at each other, wondering what we are supposed to do next.

“How are we supposed to get across this?” Reid asks.

“We use you as a pole vault.” Derek tells him.

“Very funny.”

Then Emily grabs a branch from a nearby tree. She sticks it into the pond with a hint of fear at first but then relief when she saw how deep the stick went.

“Hey, it's not that deep, we can walk across.” She tells all of us.

We start walking through the muddy water when suddenly we sink into the body of water. At that moment I thought I saw my life flash before my eyes. We swim up to the surface and catch our breaths. I will admit the water did feel nice against my burning skin.

“I told you we should've stuck to the tracks.” Reid says visibly pissed.

“Is it me or are you the world's biggest pussy?” Derek turns and asks him.

“I suppose this is fun for you.” He tells him with a fake grin on his face.

“No, but this is!” Then Derek grabs the top of Reid’s head and puts him under the water. He continues to do this multiple times until Emily yells at him. 

“Come on Derek, act your age!”

“This is my age! I'm in the prime of my youth and I'll only be young once!” 

“Yeah, but you're gonna be stupid for the rest of your life.” 

“Oh-oh, Princess you just signed your own death-warrant! You die, Prentiss!” He takes her head underwater and they pretend to fight in the water. I used this chance to escape before they dragged me with them.

“Hey, where're you think you're going, Jareau?” Emily asks me with a shit-eating grin on her face. 

“Yeah, Jareau.” Derek adds on.

“Come on you guys. I don’t wanna do this.” I say getting out of the water. They all swim towards me and dog pile me on the shore before I can escape. Reid holds my ear in a way to which he deems ‘The Sleeper Hold’.

“Sleeper hold! Sleeper hold! No one escapes the sleeper hold.”

“Spence, there's something on your neck!” I say, noticing a weird black mark on his neck.

“Yeah right. I'm not falling for that one, JJ.”

“No Reid, there is something on your neck.” Emily says looking at the mark.

“It's a leech.” Derek says to us. Then the realization of what he said kicked in. “Leeches! Jesus Christ! Get them off!”

We rush out of the water as fast as we can. We scream and strip down to our undergarments in panic getting the leeches off of us and each other. 

“Hey, Jen there's some on your back!” Emily yells to me. 

“Get them off!” I yell out as she wipes my back.

“Are there any on mine then?” She says turning around. I wipe the ones from her back. 

We all calm down once we get rid of the leeches from our bodies. I still feel a suction close to my private area but I don't see anything until I look in my underwear. 

“Oh Emily. Oh shit, Emily. Oh shit.” I say while looking at her with fear. They all look at me knowing where it was. All of their faces washed in horror.

I reach into my underwear and pull out the biggest leech with the shakiest hand and I stare at it. Then I notice the amount of blood on my fingers. That’s when I faint. I heard them rushing towards me and I could kind of hear what they were saying. 

“Jayje, dude, are you okay? Can you hear me? Jayje, are you there?” Emily asks my semi conscious body.

“Maybe she's dead.” Reid says.

“She's not dead, she's still breathing, you idiot.” Derek tells him.

“Well I don't know.”

“Hey, hey. Just cool it you guys, she just fainted. Jayje.” Emily says as she gently runs her hand against my face. 

“God, I never met anybody who fainted before.” Reid says, sounding fascinated.

“Maybe she made a bad mistake and looked at your face.” Derek spits at him.

“Shut up, Derek. You okay, Jayje?” I open my eyes as Emily stares at me making sure I’m okay.

“Yeah.” I tell her as she helps me get up.

“Let's go.”

It doesn’t take long for us and our clothes to dry. As we got dressed, I realized that my need to see this body was growing stronger. When I finished getting dressed, I waited by a tree as they all talked.

“Maybe we should take JJ back.” Emily says quietly to Derek.

“Oh great, Prentiss, now you're turning pussy too!” Derek tells her.

“What's your problem, Morgan? She had a leech hanging from her taint, she fainted!” She says as she starts getting frustrated.

“What are you, her mother?”

“Eat shit!” She says shoving him.

“You eat shit!” He says as he shoves her back.

“Hey, hey! I think Emily is right. Let's go back.” Reid says getting in between them.

“Oh haha! What a surprise, the king of the pussies wants to go back too!” 

“Stop calling me that!” He says pointing his finger in front of Derek’s face.

“Well, pussy.”

“Stop it.” He says getting more angry. 

“Pussy.”

“Stop it.”

“Pussy, pussy, pussy.”

“You four-eyed psycho!”

Then Reid tackles Derek to the ground. 

“TWO FOR FLINCHING! HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT, HUH?” He hits him over and over with all of his strength. 

“Stop it. Stop it. STOP IT!!” I yelled as loudly as I could. They all stared at me like their parents had just yelled at them.

“I'm not going back.” I say as I gather my stuff and go further into the forest. 

“Idiot.” Derek mutters at Reid.

“Shut up. Shitheap.” He spits back.

At the time, I didn't know why I needed to see that body so badly. Even if no one had followed me, I would have gone on alone.

\---------------

**By this time, David and Ian were racing on the way to Back Harlow Road. Ian, Luke, and Matt were in Ian’s car drinking beers while David, Aaron, and two other boys were in David’s car.** **The sounds of Aaron’s radio were booming as the cars raced down the empty road. Their voices screaming profanities at each other as they tried to beat the other.**

“No way, Doyle! Not this time!” Rossi shouts as Ian tries to sneak into the lead.

Then, ahead of Ian, a large log truck appears. He takes a long sip of his beer and stares at the incoming vehicle.

“No way! I got him! I got him!” Rossi grins as he spots the incoming truck.

“Fall back, Ian. Come on.” Luke tells Ian trying to convince him to take the loss. The fear in his eyes grew as he realized that Ian was doing the exact opposite.

“Jesus Christ, Ian, fall back, man!” Luke yells.

With the log truck still coming at full speed, Ian decides to floor it. Both Matt and Luke with fear in their eyes screamed as Ian continued to drive towards the vehicle like a bull to a matador. The log truck then swerves at the last possible minute causing the truck to flip on its side. Ian smiles as he pulls in front of David. David looked at him in shock as he pulled forward. 

“Shit, man, shit!” David yells as he hits the steering wheel.

“I won.” Ian says to himself, smiling.

“You let him beat you, ya cock knocker! Hahahaha!” Aaron tells David. 

\------------

We continued walking through the woods. I look up at the sky and see clouds starting to form. I didn’t take it seriously at first, considering it hadn’t rained since early July.

“Is it gonna rain, JJ?” Reid asks me.

“I don’t know Spence. I highly doubt it.”

“Coming through the woods I bet we saved over an hour.” I say while looking at my watch. “Derek?” 

“Yeah?”

“Is this the Back Harlow road?”

“Yeah.” He nods.

“That Harris-kid must be round here someplace. Derek, you and Spencer watch the left side of the tracks, we'll take the right.” Emily tells us while motioning her head in the directions we needed to go.

“Alright.”

We had only been looking for a few minutes until Reid said the words we wanted to desperately but feared to hear.

“There he is! I see him! Look! Look over there! I see him! I see him!” He pointed to a group of bushes that had a leg sticking out of them. We all crowd around him looking at what he was staring at. 

**None of us could breathe. Somewhere under those bushes was the rest of Nathan Harris.**

We all rush down to the bush covered body. We couldn’t believe our eyes. We watch black ants and flies crawl up and down on his light wash jeans. Emily grabs a long branch and starts to move the debris on top of him.

**The train had knocked Nathan Harris out of his Keds just like it had knocked the life out of his body.**

“Jesus.” She mutters quietly to herself as she uncovered more of the body.

**The kid wasn't sick. The kid wasn't sleeping. The kid was dead.**

We all stared at the boy thinking how it easily could have been one of us. He used to be someone’s friend, brother, son. Now he was a rotting corpse in the middle of the woods where he would be taken by the earth.

His body looked worse than any of us could have imagined. His mouth had stayed open when he died causing bugs to inhabit there. His eyes were open but out of sync and had almost a grey wash over them. One of his, now muddy, green eyes were rolled into the back of head while the other looked straight into the sky. His mouth and chin had dried blood residue from his nose. We all stood behind Emily as we watched a beetle crawl out of his mouth.

“Let's look for some long branches. We'll build him a stretcher.” I hear Emily say as she looks at the beetle.

I didn’t pay attention to anything or anyone else besides the dead boy in front of me. My mind wandered to Roslyn and how the reality of her death finally settled in my mind. I sat on the log on the verge of tears.

“Jayje?” Emily asks me.

“Why did you have to die?”

“What's the matter with JJ?” Reid asks her.

“Nothing. Why don't you guys just go for some long branches, okay?” She sits next to me and holds my hand.

“Why did she have to die, Emily? Why did Ros have to die? Why?”

“I don't know.”

“It should have been me.”

“Don't say that.”

“It should have been me.”

“Don't say that, Jen.”

“I'm no good. My dad said it. I'm no good.”

“He doesn't know you.”

“He hates me.”

“He doesn't hate you.”

“He hates me.” My voice is getting shaky as I try and hold back tears.

“No, he just doesn't know you.”

“He hates me. My dad hates me. He hates me oh, oh God.” I break down in tears as I put my head in Emily’s chest. I couldn’t hold back what I was feeling anymore. She rubs my back as she tries to calm me down. 

**Sometimes I wondered why it took seeing a dead kid my age to get me to finally understand that death doesn’t care who you are or what you do. Nathan Harris was a boy who was picking blueberries for his mother, and Roslyn was a girl on her way to college. I like to think that it was a way to let me finally grieve and cry over something I couldn’t control.**

“You know, you're gonna be a great writer someday, Jayje. You might even write about us guys if you ever get hard up for material.”

“Guess I'd have to be really hard up, huh?” I say while sniffling. 

“Yeah.” 

“What the fuck do you know about this?” We all jump as we hear Ian Doyle's voice as he walks down towards us.

“Son of a bitch, my little sister!” Aaron yells out as he makes eye contact with Emily. 

“You weren't planning on taking the body from us, were you, girls?”

“You get away man. We found him. We got dibs.” Emily tells Ian as she stands by the body in a guard stance. 

“Ahh! You better start running, Aaron, they got dibs!” Ian says sarcastically. 

“We earned him, man. You guys came in a car that's not fair, he's ours!” Emily yells back. 

“That's not fair, he's ours.” Aaron mocks. “Well, not anymore.” He smirks.

Derek and Reid came up behind us trying to make our numbers seem more intimidating. 

“There are four of us, Aaron. You just make your move.” Derek says.

That’s when it finally started raining. 

“Oh we will, don't you worry.” Ian tells us.

Thunder roared as all of his gang came from the tracks. 

“Spencer, you little son of a whore you were under the porch!” Luke yelled at Reid as he came down the shallow slope.

“No I swear, It wasn't me!” He replies in a panic.

“You little keyhole-peeping cunt-licking bungwipe, we'll beat the shit outta you!” Matt says as he takes off his belt getting ready to beat the life out of him. But before he could do anything, Ian snaps his fingers together causing all of them to stop.

“You guys have two choices. Either leave quietly. We take the body. Or you stay, and we'll beat the shit outta you before we take the body.” Ian tells us as he shifts his position.

“Besides, me 'n Matty found him first.” Luke tells us.

“Yeah, Reid told us how you found him.” Derek tells them. “Oh Matty, I wish we never boosted that car. Oh Matty, I think I just turned my Fruit of the Looms into a fudge factory.” He mocked them. We watched as their faces turned a fiery red.

“That's it. Your-your ass is grass!” Luke yells at him.

“Hold it.” Ian tells Luke before he launches at Derek. “Okay, Prentiss, you little maggot. This is your last chance. What do you say, kid?” He tells her as he takes out his switchblade.

“Why don't you go home and fuck your mother some more.” Emily spits out. “I heard she loves the way you do it.”

“Don’t rank on my mom you little shit.”

“Does she still give blowjobs for jukebox nickels?” She says with a slight grin.

“You're dead.” He tells her as he opens the sharp weapon.

“Come on, Em, let's split.” Derek tells her as he eyes Ian’s knife.

“They're not taking him.” She tells him while standing her ground.

“Come on, that's crazy.”

“They're not taking him.”

“He's got a knife, man!” Derek runs into the woods not wanting to see what could occur.

“You're gonna have to kill me, Doyle.” She tells him with fear in her voice.

“No problem!” He grins as he takes her by the back of the neck getting ready to slit her throat. But before anything could happen, I grabbed the gun from Emily’s blanket and fired a warning shot into the air, scaring everyone.

“You're not taking him. Nobody is taking him.” I say quietly yet sternly as I hold the gun with a slight shake in my hands.

“Come on kid, just give me the gun before you take your foot off. You ain't got the sack to shoot a woodchuck.” Ian tells me while eyeing the gun.

“If you move Ian. I'll kill you I swear to God.”

“Come on, Jareau, gimme the gun. You must have at least some of Roslyn’s good sense.” I cock the gun back putting a bullet with Ian’s name into the chamber. 

“Keep my sister’s name out of your fucking mouth, you cheap dime-store hood.”

“What are you going to do? Shoot us all?” He says as the rain turned into hail with rage.

“No, Ian, just you.” I say while pointing the gun directly at his chest. He backs away slowly with his knife still clutched in his hand.

“We're gonna getcha for this.” He says while pointing his knife at us.

“Maybe you will, maybe you won't.” Emily tells him.

“Oh we will. We're not gonna forget this if that's what you think. This is big time, baby.” He points his knife to us one last time as the rest of his gang walks away. He leaves with them taking one last look at Nathan Harris. He spits on him and grins at us flashing his knife as he closes it. We wait until they all leave to continue talking.

“Who knew you would be the one to point a gun at Ian Doyle.” Emily tells me.

“Yeah.”

Emily felt a splash on her jeans. We turn towards the body and realize what had happened. His eyes were now replaced with small white pieces of hail. When they were melting it looked like he was weeping.

“Are we gonna take him?” Reid asks.

“No.” I tell him while grabbing a blanket from my bag.

“But we came all this way. We're supposed to be heroes.” Derek says with confusion in his voice.

“Not this way, Derek. I say while shaking my head. "Emily, gimme a hand.” I tell her while handing her the other side of the blanket. 

We waited for the hail to stop. We all sat on the log that was by Nathan’s body. The sun was starting to peek through the clouds. We all looked at him one last time paying our respects and left.

**Nathan Harris' body was found. But neither our gang nor their gang got the credit. In the end we decided that an anonymous phone-call was the best thing to do. We headed home. And although many thoughts raced through our minds, we barely spoke. We walked through the night and made it back to Quantico a little past five o'clock on Sunday morning, the day before Labor Day. We'd only been gone two days. But somehow the town seemed different. Smaller.**

“Well. See you in school.” Reid tells us while adjusting his bag.

“Yeah." Emily tells him.

“Yeah.” I reply.

“See you in Junior High.” Derek tells him as he pats him on the back.

We watch Reid as he walks towards his house. He stops for a moment bending down to grab something off the ground.

“Penny!” He gleefully says as he shows us the small piece of copper.

“Oh guys I better get home before my mom puts me out on the ten most wanted list.” Derek tells us as he walks to his house.

“Hey, Emily?” He asks.

“Yeah?”

“No hard feelings, okay?” 

“No way, man.” She tells him with a small smile.

“"Have Gun, Will Travel" reads the card of a man. A knight without armor in a savage land.” He sings as he makes his way to his house.

**Spencer Reid was killed in a house fire that swept a small apartment building in 1976 - in Brooklyn and the Bronx, they call that sort of apartment building a slum tenement, I believe. The Fire Department said it started around two in the morning, and the entire building was nothing but cinders in the cellar-hole by dawn. There had been a large drunken party; Reid was there. Someone fell asleep in one of the bedrooms with a live cigarette going. Spencer himself, maybe, drifting off, dreaming of his pennies. They identified him and the four others who died by their teeth.**

**Derek went in a squalid car crash. There used to be a saying when I was growing up: 'If you go out alone you're a hero. Take somebody else with you and you're dog piss.' Derek, who had wanted nothing but the service since the time he was old enough to want anything, was turned down by the Air Force and classified 4-F by the draft. Anyone who had seen his glasses and his hearing aid knew it was going to happen — anyone but Derek.**

**In his junior year at high school he got a three-day vacation from school for calling the guidance counsellor a lying sack of shit. The G.O. had observed Derek coming in every so often - like every day - and checking over his career-board for new service literature. He told Derek that maybe he should think about another career, and that was when Derek blew his stack.**

**He was held back a year for repeated absences, tardies, and the attendant flunked courses ... but he did graduate. He had an ancient Chevrolet Bel-Air, and he used to hang around the places where Ian and Dave and the rest had hung around before him: the pool hall, the dance hall, Sukey's Tavern, which is closed now, and the Mellow Tiger, which isn't. He eventually got a job with the Quantico Public Works Department, filling up holes with hot patch.**

**The crash happened over in Harlow. Derek's Bel-Air was full of his friends (two of them had been part of that group he and Reid took to bossing around way back in 1960), and they were all passing around a couple of joints and a couple of bottles of Popov. They hit a utility pole and sheared it off and the Chevrolet rolled six times. One girl came out technically still alive. She lay for six months in what the nurses and orderlies at Virginia General call the C &T Ward - Cabbages and Turnips. Then some merciful phantom pulled the plug on her respirator. Derek Morgan was posthumously awarded the 'Dogpiss of the Year' Award.**

“I'm never gonna get out of this town, am I, Jayje?” She says as she stares at the multiple buildings surrounding us.

“You can do anything you want, Em.”

“Yeah, sure. Gimme some skin.” She says while putting her hand out.

“I'll see you.”

“Not if I see you first.” She grins at me.

**Emily did get out. She enrolled in the College-courses with me. And although it was hard, she gutted it out like she always did. She went on to College and eventually became a lawyer. Last week she entered a fast food restaurant. Just ahead of her, two people got into an argument. One of them pulled a knife. Emily, who would always make the best peace, tried to break it up. She was stabbed in the throat. She died almost instantly.**

**I'm a writer now, like I said. A lot of the critics think what I write is shit. A lot of the time I think they are right...but it still freaks me out to put those words, 'Freelance Writer', down in the Occupation blank of the forms you have to fill out at credit desks and in doctors' offices.**

**My wife, Alex, doesn't seem to mind having me around the house and we have two kids now. They all seem perfect to me, and most of the time I'm happy. But the writing isn't so easy or as much fun as it used to be. The phone rings a lot. Sometimes I get headaches, bad ones, and then I have to go into a dim room and lie down until they go away. The doctor says they aren't true migraines; he called them 'stress aches' and told me to slow down. I worry about myself sometimes. What a stupid habit that is...and yet I can't quite seem to stop it. And I wonder if there is really any point in what I'm doing, or what I'm supposed to make of a world where a woman can get sick playing 'let's pretend!.**

**But it's funny how I saw Ian Doyle again. My friends are dead but Ian is alive. I saw him pulling out of the mill parking lot just after the three o'clock whistle the last time I took my kids down home to see my dad.**

**The '52 Ford had become a '77 Ford station wagon. A faded bumper-sticker said REAGAN/BUSH 1980. His hair was mowed into a crew cut and he'd gotten fat. The sharp, handsome features I remembered were now buried in an avalanche of flesh. I had** **left the kids with dad long enough to go downtown and get the paper. I was standing on the corner of Main and Carbine and he glanced at me as I waited to cross. There was no sign of recognition on the face of this thirty-two-year-old man who had threatened to kill me in another dimension of time.**

**I watched him wheel the Ford wagon into the dirt parking lot beside the Mellow Tiger, get out, hitch at his pants, and walk inside. I could imagine the brief wedge of country- western as he opened the door. The brief sour whiff of Knick and Gansett on draught, the welcoming shouts of the other regulars as he closed the door and placed his large ass on the same stool which had probably held him up for at least three hours every day of his life - except Sundays - since he was twenty-one. I thought: So that's what Ian is now.**

**I looked to the left, and beyond the mill I could see the White River, not so wide now but a little cleaner, still flowing under the bridge between Quantico and Harlow. The trestle upstream is gone now, but the river is still around.**

“Mom, can we go now?” My son, Henry, asks me, pulling me out of my memory.

“You ready?” I ask him as I stare at my screen.

“Yeah, we've been ready for an hour.” 

“Okay, I'll be right there.” 

“She said that half an hour ago!” His friend tells him.

“Yeah, my mom's weird she gets like that when she's writing.”

I grin to myself as he says that sentence. I type out one last thing before turning off my computer.

**_Although I haven't seen any of them in more than ten years, I know I'll miss all of them forever. I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve. Jesus, does anybody?_ **

**THE END.**

  
  
  



End file.
